i am sorry i don't have a tagboard cause i know i'll never reply haha.

i am suzen. does the universe have a purpose? sometimes i look up in the sky at the sunset and it's so beautiful that it's hard to imagine that something so beautiful might just be a coincidence, that we're all just coincidences.

bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

lol i know that my blog's undone right now, i don't care, it's like LATE at night and i bloody wanna sleep.

so, goodnight people here on earth. back to top?

haha
so, i have decided to take quantity surveying.

for everyone who's asking, like why?

why not music?
why don't you pursue your dreams?
what if you regret?

to everyone, i don't know the answers myself.

i guess, i decided the moment that i realised that i had different compartments, or departments in my brain.

i was in ucsi, my dad had finally relented and took me college-shopping for music.

i didn't feel happy at all. i felt like i was going to let my music go.

you know, the one that's special to you, and it belongs to you, and you belong to it, and if you let the world see or hear it, they wouldn't like it.

because it's not happy, it's not sunshiny, it might even be sad.

and sad doesn't fit in in this world.

so, i realised that i loved music, but in a different department, you know, not the find-a-job department.

the things-i-love department. the department that if was lost, i would be lost.

i feel like i'm saying that i'm a departmental store now. but no, i'm not. haha.

and so, if i study music to that level, i'll have rules, i'll have boundaries, i'll have a fucking box that i have to sqeeze into.

of course, maybe, i could just take in all the shit and when i graduate, i'll be able to make my music.

but the 'maybe' is hanging by a thread that's too thin and breakable for my liking. and if that string broke, if i had let it break, i would have regretted it more than anything. more than taking quantity surveying.

so you get what i'm saying?

lol so, i choose to take qs. because at the end of the day, it's just a job. it's not me, it's not my core, it's not the thing that defines me. and inside, i'm still the musician. i just don't earn money that way. you know?

and now that i chose quantity surveying (i will call it qs from now on cause qs in the long form is just too crappily long haha) i don't know, i feel liberated in a way.

you know what's the best thing about not knowing rules and the best way to do something?

you do things your own way, and one day, you just might stumble on a way to do something that's just so mind blowingly good that you know you've create IT. and there's nothing like that feeling in the world.

so, by my way of liberating, i meant that i forever free myself from making boxy music that tests your finger skills rather than your imagination or your emotional skills.

lol i can't seem to stop today can i? i seem to be on a bit of a roll.

you know what kind of music i want to make?

i've never told anyone this, except for one person. and he's not even in my life anymore.

oh well,

i want to make music that, no matter what you feel, you belong in it. even if you're scared, happy, sad, delusional, hysterical, crying, dying, sleeping, laughing, jumping, cooking, smiling, working, anything, you belong in it. even if you're a pompous git, even if you're so superficial that your feelings have died the day you decided to dump your old friends for new ones because they weren't cool anymore, you belong in it. and you not only belong in it, you forget how pompous or superficial you are for a moment, and truly live, even if just for a moment. you live.

and i don't care what happens after my song ends, you could go on smiling, dying, sleeping, laughing, farting, whatever. but if you stopped in your tracks for a moment, and joined my tracks, even if just for a moment, i would be so happy that i could die at that moment and smile, and felt satisfied, and know that i have done what i was put on earth to do.



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lol,

actually, i have alot to say.

so, anyway,

i bought another coldplay album.

you guys are like, so bored of this already aren't you?

lol this time it's their concert dvd.

and omg, when they sang yellow, and you know, the part where the whole song just starts with the whole drums and guitar and everything else thing?

the lights were incredible!!!
like OMG!!!!

it was like the epitome of yellow.

and anyway, i'm a boring old fart so i'm gonna chronicle my life.

so, i went for driving test yesterday!

i was so scared that when i naik bukit, i couldn't believe that i passed.

then, i was so nervous during parking, and it was such an effing hot day with a piece of total blue hanging over my head, which i'm sure i would have totally enjoyed if i was like, on a picnic or something, but no, i was trying to park, so anyway, it was so hot, that when i came out of the car, i looked like i just got out of the shower. ( i now thank, god, allah, buddha, and everyone else that there wasn't any hot guy there on that day to see me in my awesomely hideous state). then, i made a total fart of myself and went to retrieve my form from the officer at the opposite end, not the one that i gave my form to. (yeah, suzen, way to go, because while you're parking right, apparently the officer will strut right past you instead of sitting in his pondok to see you park, and walk all the way under the effing hot sun, to give your form to the other guy, just because he felt like it. and you don't see him walking by you, even though you're nervously glancing at him every few seconds to check whether he's looking at you in case you eff up. no, you don't even see him standing up, and you automatically assume that he walked all the way to the other side in a mere few seconds, under the effing hot sun.) like, mind-fart moment.

lol and today,

i went to ipoh. so anyway, i took the train, and it's a 3 hour long trip. and i had this old man with white hair and everything sit beside me. then, i smelled something. something horrible. something really really horrible. something really really horrible. like wanna die horrible. i think he had a gas problem. yup, so, anyway, i had to put up with it. and yeah, it was a 3 hour long trip. haha. my life is awesome. lol, it wasn't a mind-fart moment, but it was a fart moment.

lol but gas problems aside, it was a nice trip as usual. cause you know, when you take the train, you don't see stuff that you see when you're on the road. it's like really beautiful sometimes, and there's this stretch from kampar, i think, to ipoh, where it's like, ponds and grass, and trees, and birds, and you see the sky, and it's like awesome. and you turn on your mp3, and you're like,
in heaven.


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I DID IT!

lol no i didn't swim the english channel.

and for those who are reading this and it's really really late at night,
no, i didn't do it.

i haven't got into Berklee either.

but,

i passed my driving test!!!!!!!

WHOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!

LOL THIS HAS GOTTA BE MY MOST HYSTERICALLY-HIGH POST EVER!

LIKE OMG!

ok la blogging from ipoh so i have nothing to say.

so,

bye. back to top?