smile like you mean it

i am sorry i don't have a tagboard cause i know i'll never reply haha.

i am suzen. does the universe have a purpose? sometimes i look up in the sky at the sunset and it's so beautiful that it's hard to imagine that something so beautiful might just be a coincidence, that we're all just coincidences.

bolditalicunderline~~strikeout~~

Monday, March 22, 2010 @ 6:48 PM

the wicked and the wild and the awesome wind

so yesterday,
i had studio practice.

it was fun!!!!

and you know what,
whatever la.
like seriously!
if i get sad about it, what can i do right?
so i'll just make the best out of it.
and when you make the best out of it,
and open your eyes,
the world is still awesomely mind-blowing beautiful.
so why be sad?
cause when you cry you cry alone, but when you smile the whole world smiles with you.
and you realize that it isn't so bad after all.

lol and for err... the people who know,
'money' is so stuck in my head right now.

oh and i played the strokes to go to bed last night,
i didn't sleep until the whole cd finished.
the awesomeness of the strokes kept me awake haha!
now that just sounds so wrong.

i feel a bit out of sorts today,
it might be the burger i had last night.
lol thanks norman though. thank you thank you,
it not common that i get a free burger at 12 midnight haha.

haha today, i'll make a wish list of who i want to see in concert in the next five years, so lets see how many i can cross off in five years lol

1. COLDPLAY duh!
2. MUSE
3. THE STROKES
4. LIFEHOUSE with my sis cause she is so gonna faint lol
5. ALBERT HAMMOND JR.
6. MEIKO
7. THE KILLERS!! awesome!
8. OASIS or TRAIN i'm not picky :)
9. MAROON 5
10. U2!!!
11. THE BEATLES!!! please? eventhough most of you guys are dead?

haha so it's my small list then.
lol so hope for me that i get to see 10 of them! cause i know 11 of them is impossible.

i went to zee avi's concert that day.
awesome! the best female concert i've ever been to.
best song for me was first of the gang or maybe monte.

lol you know we went there early so zee avi came out to shift her car maybe? i don't know,
but i said HI! to her and she said hi darling back!!!!
lol faints.

the song that totally made my day 5 years ago,
for my daddy:

and your skin
oh yeah your skin and bones
turn into something beautiful
and you know
for you I bleed myself dry
for you I bleed myself dry

-the scientist-

-coldplay-

Labels: read this 5 years from now suzen

@ 6:48 PM

.
.
i am hurt, but i am not dead.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 @ 4:11 AM

i feel a bit, down and jaded.

i feel like i need support, like my heart is on crutches, or in a wheelchair, and someone has to come and rehabilitate me.

and there's no one.

because as much as i like to think like this, i know that in the end, i have to pick myself up.
i have to wipe my own tears, i have to pay my own bills, i have to get my happiness on my own, i have to live my own life.

and those are all have to-s, not want to-s.

and the irony is, when it's have to-s, you have to.

i feel down and jaded a lot these few days, i've noticed.

and somedays, i feel like it's alright, and even a heavy burden seems to have flown off my shoulders.

but, oh god, everytime i watch a movie, and i see the end credits,

you know,

MUSIC BY

XXX

i just feel like a little more of me is dying.

and now my cheeks are wet again.

how pathetic is that?
choosing to do something that makes you miserable.

maybe i'm just not as brave as i think i am.

and of course, it's what i should do.

again, it's i should, not i want.

but you know, i want to love music maybe not forever, but long enough to feel that it's enough. and i've seen people who do what they love and end up hating it afterwards.

i feel like it's one thing that's truly right and pure in my life and i'm so afraid of losing that.

maybe i am not that brave after all.

and i've been wondering when's the day that i post up my special i've-failed-so-just-sit-down-and-die song. so, i guess it's today.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

-Coldplay-

-Fix You-

@ 3:06 AM

the dreamaster

jaime zollars me-likey:)

today, i had a dream.

i dream that i woke up.

the sunlight was streaming and it just made me feel so transparent and light.

then, i realised that my head was resting on someone's lap and i was in a car, and the car was moving. (thank you, captain obvious lol)

i looked up, and crikey, it was Chris Martin! (from coldplay) with the whole band in tow!!!

and so, i asked, what are you doing?
and they answered, we're going on an adventure.

and i felt so happy, my heart could explode.

lol i know it's really random but i woke up so happy and dissapointed...

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I flow

-coldplay-

-green eyes-

Labels: dreams

Monday, March 15, 2010 @ 7:43 AM

I MISS THE BEACH

lol i really miss the beach.

i finally finished painting my guitar!

now all i need to do is buy one of those overpriced clear spray thingy.

lol everyone knows this already, but i'll say this again. i love coldplay!

and i would like to give away my balls (If i had any) to have song writing skills like them.

lol i'm in a pretty confused state now.
i want 2 things in life.

1. to migrate
2. have a high-flying career in music.

problem:

high-flying career in music = no migrating

(because it is quite impossible to migrate if you're in the music line.

migrating = no high-flying career in music

high-flying career in music + migrating = ?

can anybody solve this for me? please?

lol so irritating right?
oh well at least i get to see Zee Avi this weekend. AHHHHH!!!! *jumps around the room thumping my chest*

you know, the rock corner guy's not there anymore. it should be okay cause i decided that i don't like him in that way. but, you know, i'm at a point in my life now where i don't know anything. everything's just so confusing. and i don't really know him at all but the times where we talked was really nice. and it was just talking about something i love and he loved it too, the exact same stuff, which well, i've never met a person who loved the exact same things in what i loved except for him. so i miss that.

so,

i guess,

it's not really

okay.

P.S. i think i'm officially over zookeeper. hehe.

P.P.S. maybe if i knew that i really loved you, and i know that you loved me back, it would be okay, and i would be in.

and the song that pretty much sums it up right now :

I would fall asleep

Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

-lifehouse-

-blind-

stuffiwastemytimeonhaha yernny=D jin jinXD fun-damentally AWESOME sheena banana:) GMH rocks!
Monday, March 22, 2010 @ 6:48 PM the wicked and the wild and the awesome wind so yesterday, i had studio practice. it was fun!!!! and you know what, whatever la. like seriously! if i get sad about it, what can i do right? so i'll just make the best out of it. and when you make the best out of it, and open your eyes, the world is still awesomely mind-blowing beautiful. so why be sad? cause when you cry you cry alone, but when you smile the whole world smiles with you. and you realize that it isn't so bad after all. lol and for err... the people who know, 'money' is so stuck in my head right now. oh and i played the strokes to go to bed last night, i didn't sleep until the whole cd finished. the awesomeness of the strokes kept me awake haha! now that just sounds so wrong. i feel a bit out of sorts today, it might be the burger i had last night. lol thanks norman though. thank you thank you, it not common that i get a free burger at 12 midnight haha. haha today, i'll make a wish list of who i want to see in concert in the next five years, so lets see how many i can cross off in five years lol 1. COLDPLAY duh! 2. MUSE 3. THE STROKES 4. LIFEHOUSE with my sis cause she is so gonna faint lol 5. ALBERT HAMMOND JR. 6. MEIKO 7. THE KILLERS!! awesome! 8. OASIS or TRAIN i'm not picky :) 9. MAROON 5 10. U2!!! 11. THE BEATLES!!! please? eventhough most of you guys are dead? haha so it's my small list then. lol so hope for me that i get to see 10 of them! cause i know 11 of them is impossible. i went to zee avi's concert that day. awesome! the best female concert i've ever been to. best song for me was first of the gang or maybe monte. lol you know we went there early so zee avi came out to shift her car maybe? i don't know, but i said HI! to her and she said hi darling back!!!! lol faints. the song that totally made my day 5 years ago, for my daddy: and your skin oh yeah your skin and bones turn into something beautiful and you know for you I bleed myself dry for you I bleed myself dry -the scientist- -coldplay- Labels: read this 5 years from now suzen back to top?
@ 6:48 PM . . i am hurt, but i am not dead. back to top?
Wednesday, March 17, 2010 @ 4:11 AM i feel a bit, down and jaded. i feel like i need support, like my heart is on crutches, or in a wheelchair, and someone has to come and rehabilitate me. and there's no one. because as much as i like to think like this, i know that in the end, i have to pick myself up. i have to wipe my own tears, i have to pay my own bills, i have to get my happiness on my own, i have to live my own life. and those are all have to-s, not want to-s. and the irony is, when it's have to-s, you have to. i feel down and jaded a lot these few days, i've noticed. and somedays, i feel like it's alright, and even a heavy burden seems to have flown off my shoulders. but, oh god, everytime i watch a movie, and i see the end credits, you know, MUSIC BY XXX i just feel like a little more of me is dying. and now my cheeks are wet again. how pathetic is that? choosing to do something that makes you miserable. maybe i'm just not as brave as i think i am. and of course, it's what i should do. again, it's i should, not i want. but you know, i want to love music maybe not forever, but long enough to feel that it's enough. and i've seen people who do what they love and end up hating it afterwards. i feel like it's one thing that's truly right and pure in my life and i'm so afraid of losing that. maybe i am not that brave after all. and i've been wondering when's the day that i post up my special i've-failed-so-just-sit-down-and-die song. so, i guess it's today. When you try your best, but you don't succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you -Coldplay- -Fix You- back to top?
@ 3:06 AM the dreamaster jaime zollars me-likey:) today, i had a dream. i dream that i woke up. the sunlight was streaming and it just made me feel so transparent and light. then, i realised that my head was resting on someone's lap and i was in a car, and the car was moving. (thank you, captain obvious lol) i looked up, and crikey, it was Chris Martin! (from coldplay) with the whole band in tow!!! and so, i asked, what are you doing? and they answered, we're going on an adventure. and i felt so happy, my heart could explode. lol i know it's really random but i woke up so happy and dissapointed... Honey you are the sea Upon which I flow -coldplay- -green eyes- Labels: dreams back to top?
Monday, March 15, 2010 @ 7:43 AM I MISS THE BEACH lol i really miss the beach. i finally finished painting my guitar! now all i need to do is buy one of those overpriced clear spray thingy. lol everyone knows this already, but i'll say this again. i love coldplay! and i would like to give away my balls (If i had any) to have song writing skills like them. lol i'm in a pretty confused state now. i want 2 things in life. 1. to migrate 2. have a high-flying career in music. problem: high-flying career in music = no migrating (because it is quite impossible to migrate if you're in the music line. migrating = no high-flying career in music high-flying career in music + migrating = ? can anybody solve this for me? please? lol so irritating right? oh well at least i get to see Zee Avi this weekend. AHHHHH!!!! jumps around the room thumping my chest you know, the rock corner guy's not there anymore. it should be okay cause i decided that i don't like him in that way. but, you know, i'm at a point in my life now where i don't know anything. everything's just so confusing. and i don't really know him at all but the times where we talked was really nice. and it was just talking about something i love and he loved it too, the exact same stuff, which well, i've never met a person who loved the exact same things in what i loved except for him. so i miss that. so, i guess, it's not really okay. P.S. i think i'm officially over zookeeper. hehe. P.P.S. maybe if i knew that i really loved you, and i know that you loved me back, it would be okay, and i would be in. and the song that pretty much sums it up right now : I would fall asleep Only in hopes of dreaming That everything would be like it was before But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor After all this time I never thought we'd be here Never thought we'd be here When my love for you was blind But I couldn't make you see it Couldn't make you see it That I loved you more than you'll ever know A part of me died when I let you go -lifehouse- -blind- back to top?

monthly archive January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 September 2010 November 2010 December 2010 April 2011 May 2011 July 2012	recent entries Niceness And the wind blows BRAVE Paint me like one of your french girls sadness everywhere hi, so its your birthday today.and i cried yesterd... i melted today fuhhhhhi miss you.....lol i wanna say stuff. that ... lalalalalala its wednesday hahahaha it's 2am. somewhere, a screw is loose.
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