i am sorry i don't have a tagboard cause i know i'll never reply haha.

i am suzen. does the universe have a purpose? sometimes i look up in the sky at the sunset and it's so beautiful that it's hard to imagine that something so beautiful might just be a coincidence, that we're all just coincidences.

bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

so, today, i woke up, feeling a bit like i'm on the wrong side of the bed, or the world.

but, i ignored it. haha.

lol, then i was okay, i ate my breakfast. bread, nothing complicated about that.

THEN, i made a mistake.

i played the piano.

so then it all comes out again, wave after wave after wave after, well, you get the idea.
and i wasn't even playing anything particularly depressing or anything. i was playing scales. okay, maybe it is a bit depressing. lol.

then i played something i'm composing halfway. then something happened. i felt like how i was before everything started. i felt the way i was when everything was simple. and music was just something i loved.

so now i'm not so confused anymore. because i now remember why i loved it again. and by god, the wall will come crashing down no matter what.

lol and if everthing fails, i can just be a scuba diver.



lol of course everything isn't all well again. of course i still feel a bit, well, not so well. but at least i now know maybe all that suffering was to remind me what i really can't live without in this world.

and of couse i'm still a bit depressed. in fact, i'm listening to longwave now. which is like my second most depressing album. but i have a solution!
i'm going to watch tooth fairy in an hour! lol.




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